Investing In Your Kids

One of the difficult lessons we learn as we get older is that life has very few guarantees. The New Radicals would have us believe the simple formula that we get what we give, but all too often our efforts end in disappointment. We spend countless hours working to further our careers, yet promotions and raises can elude us. We wait in line all night to buy tickets to a concert, and the lead singer decides to mail in the performance. Our favorite sports teams have terrible games. Our role models turn out to be frauds. Granted this is a bleak way to view the world, but it’s reality. Fortunately we parents are armed with the ultimate weapons to buck the downward trend: our kids.

Queen of the Hill

You see, our kids are the one investment that will always pay us back tenfold. They are money in the bank. We’re reminded of this every day when they say and do things that we taught them. Is there any greater satisfaction than knowing that our kids are listening to us, absorbing every little morsel of knowledge (even the things we didn’t intend for them to hear), and at least trying to do the right thing? To me this is one of the underrated joys of parenting. It’s the natural high of observing your influence in action, and few things in life can equal it.

I was recently reminded of this fact as I listened to my older daughter Molly read a book to her younger sister Abby. It made me think back to all the bedtime stories we’ve shared together over the years, and how that investment of bonding time had contributed to this great family moment. Since kids are master manipulators and dads are natural softies, those “just one more story” requests are often granted. Did that help to move the process along at all? I can’t say for sure, but I know it was worth every second.

Here’s the thing: being a parent is lot like working. You can come in every day, punch the clock, and go through the motions (feed them, clothe them, hug them), and chances are they will grow up to be fine human beings. Or you can decide to move beyond what’s expected and invest more of your time and effort for greater returns. I’m not talking about trips to Disney World or front-row tickets for Miley Cyrus. I mean simple, everyday things that make a difference. For instance:

1. Moving beyond Yes/No answers. How many times do our kids ask us things that could easily warrant a one-word reply? “Can’t I have another cookie?”; “Do I have to go to bed now?”; “Who puked on the living room carpet?” (sorry, been having some issues with Brisco the Dog lately). At times I have to force myself to go the extra mile and explain my response, but I’m often rewarded later when I hear my kids parroting what I said. For example, Abby can now tell her preschool friends that Brisco puked on the carpet because he ate too many sticks. You see- that’s the return!
2. Giving them responsibility that exceeds their age. I’m a gadget guy and have electronic stuff all over the house. At first nothing would make me gasp more than seeing one of my girls pick up my DSLR or start typing away on the keyboard of my precious MacBook Pro. Rather than following my gut reaction of snatching these items out of their hands, I’ve started explaining how to treat them with care. The fact I can safely leave the room while the girls use my computer is a luxury they’ve earned, and I’m proud every time I avoid the “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” mentality. Some day perhaps even my wife will earn this privilege!
3. Including them in the things you like to do. I’ll admit it, I still love getting the newspaper dropped in the driveway each morning. Of course my first read of the day is the sports section, and it’s very easy for me to just bury my head in the paper at the breakfast table. Lately I’ve been reading game stories, the comics, and the occasional upbeat human interest story (tough to find these days) to my kids to include them. I nearly spit out my soda a couple weeks ago when we were watching a Celtics game and Molly asked me how Kevin Garnett’s knee was doing.

Looking back at conversations I have with fellow dads, one of the common themes I sense is guilt. It’s the feeling that we aren’t with the kids enough, that they depend on their moms more, that our expectations for them are too high and our attention spans are too low. The more I thought about all this anxiety, the more I came back to a single point: it doesn’t take much to go the extra mile. The little things truly matter, and the benefits far outweigh the effort involved.

Just remember- I’m not responsible for any damage to your home electronics as a result of this post…

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Tags: camera, Disney World, investing in your kids, MacBook Pro, Miley Cyrus, New Radicals, parenting, Reading, Technology