Forget Male Kiss – Adam Lambert Just Sucks
This is for you Adam Lambert
I am not a big celebrity follower. Yes, I am a big sports fan but even my childhood heroes don’t make me want to stalk them for autographs or make me want to read about their latest female conquests.
In a long line of “who the hell cares” news stories this week – including the fact that two jerk-offs crashed a White House party, horse-faced Chelsea Clinton got engaged, and Tiger Woods’ old lady clocked him with a 9-iron – American Idol finalist Adam Lambert has been essentially banned from ABC after a disturbing performance on the American Music Awards.
Lambert not only kissed his male keyboard player, he also simulated oral sex with another man all in the name of entertainment. Whether or not a gay kiss or a gay oral sex on television during prime time bothers you, what’s been lost in the story has been the fact that Lambert just plain sucks.
His stupid Emo haircut and badly scarred, acne-filled face aside, besides being able to carry a tune pretty well, he has no talent. Which begs the question why do we even care what this pimple on the ass of music does?
Plain and simple, Lambert is King Douche Bag in my book.
Aside from the news media focusing on the wrong objectionable act – they’re focusing on the kiss while not even mentioning the fake on-stage blowjob – the Lambert story again proves that America is slowly becoming a third-world country full of mindless drones. With the likes of Britney Spears and Tiger Woods, why do we need Lambert in any news cycle?
American Idol is squarely to blame for this. After all, when you allow the nation to vote on anything bad things happen. Just look at the resident at 1600 W. Pennsylvania Avenue to see that national referendums on anything have disasterous consequences. Simon Cowell might be a cool, cruel cat but the show is as exciting as watching two 7o-year olds get it on.
The King Douche Bag Himself
Maybe it’s because I am a throwback. While I grew up listening to the likes of Van Halen, U2, Motley Crue and Motorhead, I have an appreciation for classic entertainers and the public persona and measure of class they exuded.
Frank Sinatra plowed through more women then probably anyone. Ok, maybe Wilt Chamberlain and Elvis had more but Sinatra had class. He might have gotten his freak on with the Rat Pack and a bevvy of beauties, but he didn’t do it on stage. He had more respect for his audience than that.
Lambert is yet another modern hack who must make up for his lack of talent with acts of stupidity no matter what the cost. He’s a sub-par talent who has to fake getting swallowed to get headlines.
Sex and rock-n-roll are sort of like peanut butter and jelly – symbiotic. That doesn’t mean sex acts – real or simulated – on stage. This wasn’t Robert Plant using his microphone, as the lead singer of Led Zeppelin, to simulate a phallic symbol. Like Janet Jackson’s exposed nipple fiasco, Lambert too miscalculated his popularity and the fine line between pushing the envelope and just pushing crap.
For me, I hope Adam Lambert fades into obscurity.
Unfortunately, with today’s pop culture at new lows, somehow I think I’ll have to see his ugly mug again.
Follow Scott on Twitter @prgully or email him at scott@everyotherthursday.com. His personal blog, where he writes about public relations and social media, is www.scottgulbransen.com. Just don’t try to have another man kiss him and don’t simulate oral sex or he’ll pee on you.
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by prgully: My latest blog post on the @eotblog Forget Male Kiss, Lambert Just Sucks http://bit.ly/7ZgjVM...
Have you seen him perform live other than the AMA's? Have you heard any of his interviews? Are you aware of how much money was raised for Public School Arts Programs in Adam's name? Are you aware of who Adam's early musical influences were? If not, then I'd STFU if I were you.
Have a nice day.
Your ignorance and hasty judgment is pitiful.
HAHAHA, blogger=fail
Have you seen him perform live other than the AMA's? Have you heard any of his interviews? Are you aware of how much money was raised for Public School Arts Programs in Adam's name? Are you aware of who Adam's early musical influences were? If not, then I'd STFU if I were you.
Have a nice day.
Your ignorance and hasty judgment is pitiful.
HAHAHA, blogger=fail
The problem with Adam is that he's relying on gimmicks and sensationalism to elevate his brand faster than his music ever will. What does that say about his music? Hmmm…
The problem with Adam is that he's relying on gimmicks and sensationalism to elevate his brand faster than his music ever will. What does that say about his music? Hmmm…
LOL! Nice! That excuses his performance I am sure. I am sure those school kids in those “public school arts programs” will learn much from his simulated oral sex on stage. Such a great educator that Adam Lambert. Thanks for reading!
Woz341: Hasty judgment? Explain.
Ignorance? What, about his “brilliance on stage”? He's a hack…and won't make a fifth album.
Don…just like much of popular music in the last 10 years, it has nothing to do with music. Guys like this are a dime a dozen. I live in Vegas for 8 years and saw them every night.
Am I the only one who thinks it's funny (in a sad, we're too obsessed with lame pop culture sort of way), that you're getting bashed for talking smack about Adam Lambert, but nobody cares that you dissed the prez?
Am I the only one who thinks it's funny (in a sad, we're too obsessed with lame pop culture sort of way), that you're getting bashed for talking smack about Adam Lambert, but nobody cares that you dissed the prez?
I wrote you an essay. Get ready.
“Sub-par talent”? LOL. I don't believe it. The guy is an amazing singer who's currently making things happen for himself. His voice is absolutely ridiculous. I don't even like the tone of it or his diction choices that much myself, but even I can acknowledge that there's no other male singer in pop music who can match that type of power and range. There are some big names that actually want to work with Adam, not the other way around. And really, nice of you to compare a guy whose career as an actual recording artist and mainstream entertainer started two weeks ago to the entire careers of Sinatra, Plant, and Elvis. Yeah, that's totally fair. You hastily judge him based on the one time you saw him perform, never mind that his other songs are of completely different style. You label him as one type of performer and ignore how he performs these other songs. That's ignorant to me, dude.
Are you another “concerned” parent worried about what kids are learning from people like Adam? I'm sick of hearing that lame excuse. It's ultimately up to parents to educate their child about moral values, not Adam. I watch these performances to be entertained, not to take life cues from them. But you know, belittling the fact that he has inspired people to donate more than $250,000 to classrooms so that kids can learn from their teachers is completely classy. No, that's not a douche bag move at all, of course not.
Even if Adam disappears a year from now, his current impact on pop culture is cool enough. He's one of the first to display raw gay sexuality, not just the cutesy, romantic stuff, to a large audience. Some people were upset, but some people cheered too. His candor in interviews, especially on topics that are more or less taboo in this country, is necessary and novel. He's stimulating talk about sexuality and playing with gender roles, both of which I find really interesting, even from haters like you, regardless of their roles in music performance. When I talk to my classmates, I see the way that he inspires youth, especially queer youth, to express themselves or come out. This is a good thing. Believe me.
Lastly, just because you have a differing opinion on what you like in music does not mean that the guy is “King Douche Bag” or that you can make fun of his skin or his hair. I have acne too, and I can never get my hair to look the way I want. Are you going to use that against me? You look a little chubby in your avatar there. Maybe I should slip in a dig about your weight. However, I don't really know the whole you, so that would be uncalled for, just as you don't really know the whole Adam.
You win the contest @arshangl! I put that in to see if anyone would notice, and to prove my point. You got it but not everyone did. Again, the rise of the increased importance of pop culture. Many of these comments spend tons of time defending Lambert but don't know who the Secretary of State is. Sad state…thanks.
I think you probably also have to acknowledge that when you write a story about Adam Lambert, you draw a certain type of readership who is perhaps disinclined to know who the Secretary of State is.
You win the contest @arshangl! I put that in to see if anyone would notice, and to prove my point. You got it but not everyone did. Again, the rise of the increased importance of pop culture. Many of these comments spend tons of time defending Lambert but don't know who the Secretary of State is. Sad state…thanks.
I think you probably also have to acknowledge that when you write a story about Adam Lambert, you draw a certain type of readership who is perhaps disinclined to know who the Secretary of State is.