Dads do what they have to do

I’m not writing this post to get any sympathy, any special consideration, nor to pat myself on the back. There are enough — too many — other husbands and fathers out there in a similar situation. I’m just writing it to give a voice to what many other men are going through. If you’re one, please leave a comment with a bit of your story and what you’re doing in your role as father.

My dad, who died four years ago Nov. 5, worked for Western Electric his entire life. While the company name changed a few times and last I think it was AT&T Technologies, he still he worked for one company his entire career.

I know that long-gone are the days when you graduate for high school or college and go to work for a company — and retire from there.

However, even today with unemployment rates like Michigan’s 14.8%, the vast majority of those who want to work, are working. And, most, I bet, in a job or career where they can support their family (or most of their family, with their spouse working too).

But, when you’re among the still minority who are told you are no longer needed, there’s no job  for you anymore, etc., it sucks.

And it especially sucks when your wife is a relatively new stay-at-home-mom with your four kids, including your 13 month-old daughter.

That’s the situation I found myself in Aug. 20, 2008, around 2 p.m. (Things like that just stick out in your memory.) I was with a Web designs/video agency for 18 months, after leaving another agency where I had spent nearly 13 years. My position was eliminated — official word I was told and would give to the Ohio Department of Job & Family Services, and the Michigan Department of Human Services for food assistance.

While looking for a job last fall, I was blessed to have friends and acquaintances who opened doors for me, and led to freelance work, introductions, interviews, etc. Among the people I am extremely grateful to is fellow EOT dad, David Binkowski.In late January 2009, I switched from mostly job searching to mostly being self-employed. Unless you’re in business for yourself or are out of work looking for a job, let me tell you that you get a heck of a lot less sleep when it’s just you — and your family is depending on you. A heck of a lot less sleep.

Until of late, the self-employed business was going well. I’m not going to whine because my wife and I have been very blessed through this new phase in our life. While I still have some relatively steady freelance work, it’s not enough. So, while continuing to try to build my business, continue the professional job search, being a husband and a dad, and keeping the faith that “things” will work out for the best, I had a interview with a local grocery store Monday. And, it wasn’t for a PR-related position.

It’s not what I wanted to do, but it is what dads — and moms — across the country are doing. They’re not worrying about something silly like pride; they are trying to take care of their families.

Ultimately, that’s what dads do. You do what needs to be done, no matter if you want to or not. It’s among the many of life’s lessons I’ve learned and am learning.

Much like many other dads across the country.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/khawaja/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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