Son, You Don’t Know it But Daddy is Mediocre.

My oldest son was having trouble in 1st grade gym class. He couldn’t hop on one foot. He confessed this to my wife but he admonished her, “Don’t tell daddy. I don’t want him to know.”

I may be reading too much into this but I am wondering if my son doesn’t want me to know because he doesn’t want me to think less of his athletic prowess. Understand, I am supportive in all things. I like to feel I’m pretty even handed in my praise and encouragement of him. I don’t think he would withhold something from me because he’d be afraid I’d criticize him, however constructively.

No, I think he just wants to be like me in terms of physicality and he doesn’t want me to see that he’s struggling.

"Oh, I see! Daddy's in there!"

My son right now thinks I’m larger than life in most respects, and I cherish this and will cling to it when he someday hits the contemptuous phase of adolescence. One of the things I evidence to him or think I do is an active role in sports and disciplined physical fitness. Picture it, you’re six and the guy you want most to be like practices kendo and knows kickboxing and judo. Out in the garage amidst the tools and gardening stuff is a well-worn heavy bag and weight bench. There’s a beat up pair of big running shoes next to his beat up pair of little tennis shoes. My dad can play baseball, football, climb anything at the park – my dad can do anything.

But son, what you do not know and what I must teach you is your dad is a humble recreational athlete whose struggles are different than yours in scope and complexity but no different in principle. Yes, you must learn to hop on one foot. Dad is still trying to outgun the hotrods in kendo and he’s solidly middle of the pack. He benches, at most, 150. His mile time is comical.

Child, right now what I must pass on to you is an enthusiasm for physical activity, a love of it for its own sake. Some day in the near future I will teach you how to win and lose, how to be second best or not among the best at all. What I hope to teach you in those days, what I hope will be built on a foundation of play and joy, will be perseverance, commitment and, most of all, courage.

Cuz if your dad does do anything well, it’s go out there and make a fool of himself. The best thing you can have is not skill. It’s guts.

Besides, you’ll always be a hero to somebody. I think I’m your hero. You’re definitely one of mine.

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Tags: Kendo